


Altschmerz

by prussiangilbert



Series: the lachesism triptych [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Implied Relationships, Minor Character Death, Originally Posted on Tumblr, POV Second Person, Pre-Relationship, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, hermann-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 01:52:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15523461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prussiangilbert/pseuds/prussiangilbert
Summary: Altschmerz - (n.) Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had.There is hope in the face of war. Sometimes it just takes a bit of effort to find that hope. (And sometimes that extra effort involves joining your lab partner in drifting with a kaiju brain. Sometimes.)Hermann-centric, takes place during the ending of the first movie. Deals with his thoughts and feelings about the kaiju war, his lab partner, and the chaos that both bring to his life.





	Altschmerz

This is the third night in a row that you’ve spent at your chalkboard, and you’re starting to wonder what the point of all this is. Your hands are covered in fine white dust and your eyes are sore from overuse, but Stacker needs this information more than you need sleep, so here you are once again. The ladder creaks as you step down, moving to a new section of board to continue working on your equation. You’re in for another long night.

* * *

You resist the urge to send the textbook flying when you find out exactly how old it is. Yes, there’s only eight more months of funding left for the program, but surely some of that funding can be allocated for some more up-to-date mathematical research, right? Or perhaps some technology that can stop your lab partner from cobbling together a pons headset from garbage in order to drift with a kaiju brain (again)?

 

The chalkboard seems to mock you from across the room, the kaiju emergence equation you came up with blurring into grayish-white smears as you move to sit down on the couch Newton insisted on dragging into the lab for some reason only known to him. Your head begins to pound as you run your hands over your face, and you can’t help but wonder how the jaeger pilots are faring against Otachi and Leatherback. You pass Becket and Mori on your way to the control center; all three of you look far from happy as you track each signature on Tendo’s screen. You’re just about to ask Pentecost a question, and that’s when the Shatterdome goes dark, and everyone scrambles to figure out what just happened and why everything’s gone dead. You hear snippets here and there; an EMP pulse from one of the kaiju, all of the jaegers disabled, no backup plan whatsoever. Cherno Alpha was lost before your eyes, Crimson Typhoon’s Conn-Pod ripped from the jaeger and destroyed; Becket and Mori argue with Pentecost that their jaeger is analog, nuclear, they can go out there and take care of the two kaiju and it’s not like anyone has a better plan, do they? You have to admit that they’re right, if only to yourself, and soon you, Tendo, and Stacker are watching from above in a helicopter as Leatherback’s corpse gets checked for a pulse. You briefly lose sight of their jaeger during the fight with Otachi, but when you realize that the kaiju has flown off into the upper atmosphere, you can’t help but fear for their safety.

 

When your helicopter lands, what feels like the entire Shatterdome crew joins the three of you as Becket and Mori’s jaeger plummets from the sky like a shooting star. Stacker keeps a close eye on them as they fall, shouting at them to loosen their shock absorbers and watching as they purge the nuclear reactor before bracing for impact. Cheers rise from the crowd when the dust settles and the jaeger still stands; the feeling of relief is quite palpable. Stacker tells you to go find Newton, and you can’t help but smile when you salute him and rush off to track Newton down.

* * *

“You’re serious? You would do that for me? Or you would- you would do that with me?” he says as you plug in a few extra lines of code and pick up a pons headset of your own. You explain that with the fate of the world at stake, you don’t think you have much of a choice.

 

“Then say it with me, my man: ‘We’re gonna own this bad boy!’”

 

You’re gonna own this thing for sure. He counts down, hits the button, and you lose yourself in the drift.

* * *

The two of you shove your way into the LOCCENT control center, Newton shouting “Move, you fascist!” as he snatches the microphone from Herc (who looks a bit more than mildly displeased by these events). You tell the pilots that the breach scans the kaijus' genetic code like a barcode, and that the plan will fail like it always has unless they can fool the breach into thinking they are a kaiju. Herc comes just short of shoulder-checking Newton out of the way as he grabs the mic back and tells the jaegers to take the leap.

 

“Sir! I have a third signature emerging from the breach!” Tendo reports, and it dawns on you and Newton at once as Herc relays this new information to Stacker and the others. You can hear the horror in your partner’s voice as he speaks, his words confirming the equation on your chalkboard and the fear in your heart.

 

“It’s a triple event.”

 

“God, I was right.” For once, you wish you weren’t. Liquid dread seeps into your bones as you quickly glance over at Newton, and see the same ineffable set of emotions written across his face. You can faintly hear Stacker ask what category the newest kaiju is, and a new wave of fear hits you when Tendo quietly turns and speaks to Herc.

 

“Category five.”

 

The first ever category five kaiju has just emerged from the breach. God help you all.

 

All that you and everyone else in the room can do is watch helplessly as the three kaiju swarm the jaegers, and hope like hell that this plan doesn’t fail.

* * *

Their jaeger is too damaged to deliver the payload. Stacker and Chuck won’t be able to get Striker through the breach. But Mori and Becket’s jaeger is nuclear; they can do it. And Striker Eureka can clear a path. For the lady.

 

“Well, my father always said… He said if you have the shot you take it! So let’s do this!” You hear Chuck tell Stacker that it was a pleasure. Herc’s face twists slightly, as if he’s about to cry. The arming process begins as two of the kaiju converge on the jaeger and charge forward.

 

The bomb detonates.

 

Striker Eureka’s signature vanishes. The Shatterdome mourns for its Marshal. Hercules Hansen mourns for his son. The apocalypse seems far from cancelled.

* * *

Becket and Mori’s jaeger limps onward towards the breach once again, more determined to carry out the mission than ever. Their fixed point has been lost to the drift, and they alone will end the war for good. They drag part of the category five’s corpse with them, their only way of passing through the breach (if what you saw was right). They take the jump, and Tendo’s voice cuts through the silence in the room.

 

“They’re in!” he says, and everyone seems to visibly relax a bit. But Mori’s air supply was damaged during the fight against the category five, and you can’t help but fear the worst. Tendo notes that Becket is giving her his air supply, and everyone waits with bated breath as her life pod ejects. Tendo shouts for him to get out now, but is cut off by the announcement that the reactor override is being initiated. Until it isn’t.

 

“He’s out of time. He has to self-destruct now,” Newton says, moving to stand behind Herc. He glances over at you, worry etched into his face.

 

Becket is forced to manually arm the reactor to self-destruct, a process lengthened due to his lack of air. He escapes in the last life pod mere seconds before it detonates, the breach crumbling behind him.

 

“Direct hit! The breach has collapsed!” Tendo yells, rising slightly from his chair. Cheers and applause ring out as Newton claps him on the shoulder. Herc orders helicopters to be sent out to rescue Becket and Mori.

 

Her pod emerges first, vital signs steady as she scans the ocean for her co-pilot’s pod.

 

“Where’s the second pod?” Herc leans over Tendo’s shoulder to better view the screen.

 

“I’m tracking it, but there’s no vital signs.” Herc’s head drops at those words, his eyes slipping closed. The second pod surfaces, and Mori must have swum over to his pod because her shaky voice is picked up by the com system.

 

“I don’t think he’s breathing.”

 

She begs Becket not to go, and you can feel a twinge of something you can’t quite put a name to as you look over in Newton’s direction. It’s almost a sort of... optimistic desperation, in a way. You almost hope that he won’t go either.

 

You’re so lost in thought that Becket’s voice almost doesn’t register in your head as it filters through the speakers. But then it does, and the Shatterdome fills with joyous applause once more as you, Newton, Tendo, and Herc all pull back from the screen on Tendo’s desk. He stands and nods as Herc moves towards the microphone, moving off to the side as you and Newton offer various congratulatory gestures.

 

“This is Marshal Hercules Hansen. The breach is sealed. Stop the clock!” He turns towards the doorway that you had stormed through with Newton earlier, and you all follow suit as the war clock finally ticks over to zero and everyone shouts and cheers and the Shatterdome fills with a sense of elation because the war is actually over. Tendo pats you on the shoulder as he moves from his spot to your left, and you take all of three steps closer to Newton before he pulls you into a hug. Both of you are beaming, and you can faintly hear Tendo speaking to Mori and Becket in the background but you’re mostly concentrating on your partner and the overwhelming sense of “finally” that has settled over you. He glances up at you with hope shining in his eyes, and you can’t help smiling even wider as you return his embrace. Finally.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an expansion of my original "Altschmerz" piece, a set of 4 bullet points briefly detailing the way that the kaiju war wore on Hermann. Both the original and this expansion are part of a triptych, a set of 3 pieces that tell a full story when connected (though they can also stand alone from one another).
> 
> The original may be found on my writing tumblr, unitedinentropy.


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